You’re most likely familiar with the prenup agreement for soon-to-be newlyweds – maybe even have one – but what precisely is a baby prenup and is everyone doing it now?
The list has gotten slightly longer for expecting parents – get the nursery ready, stock up on diapers, and now sign an agreement with your partner that lists out the tasks each parent will take on once the little one is born – hence the term ‘baby prenup.’
This seems to be slowly but increasingly popular in American homes, but could the trend spread all over the world? Connecticut mother-to-be, Melissa Briggs, who has signed a baby prenup with her husband, recently told Good Morning America, “He told me, ‘I’m not a mind reader.’ And we had different expectations of how things should be done. We wrote out everything to set up clear expectations for each party.”
A baby prenup should typically include specific details, such as what each partner expects of the other in the wake of a new baby’s birth, especially when it comes to parenting-related tasks and household chores. Whilst it may differ from couple to couple (for instance, the mother breastfeeds, the father cleans the feeding bottles/pump parts), the idea is to spell out each party’s duties to create a better balance of responsibility even before the baby arrives.
Licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D., author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life says, “the biggest thing is to make sure that you’re both equal in all ways as a parent.” Should you decide to opt for a baby prenup, family therapist, David Klow and author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters From Your Therapis advises, “Parents should at least include a clause that allows for the agreement to be updated and amended as they learn what they are really like as parents, and come to know what their baby’s temperament is like.”
It’s important to note that this option isn’t for everyone, and you shouldn’t feel under pressure to sign an official agreement with your partner and vice versa. If this all sounds to rigid and formal for (both) your liking though, a simple open, honest conversation about your expectations of each other post-birth should do just the trick.