Every relationship has its ups and downs. With our busy everyday lives, it can be hard to balance work, friends and marriage demands. Not to mention the pandemic with uncertainty and fear that it brings. All these factors can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. Yet, it is important to know when the troubles are just temporary obstacles that can be overcome, and when they’re unsolvable.
If you feel that the connection between you and your partner is seriously damaged, it would be wise to consult with an expert. A marriage counselor or couples’ therapist may help you determine the cause of your problems and offer various ways to solve them. If, however, you’ve already tried it and it’s not working, maybe it is time to think about ending the marriage.
To understand what the best course of action would be, check if these signs are present in your relationship.
Feeling of distance
Every partner needs time for themselves. If, however, those moments become the norm, and time spent together for dinners, movies or general intimacy becomes the exception, then maybe you should consider some important changes. Relationships are about spending time together and enjoying it. Lack of these activities may mean that the relationship is seriously damaged, maybe even beyond repair.
Lack of intimacy and sex
Intimacy is one of the key aspects of marriage and the source of enjoyment both for you and your partner. If the time spent together lacks intimate moments – a romantic dinner, sensual massage, bath together – for a long time, that is an important warning sign. And especially if sex is rare or even completely gone from the relationship. The loss of interest in intimate activities usually points to the fact that spending time with a partner is no longer important.
The partner becomes an antagonist
The mere idea of spending time with your spouse is making you feel anxious or angry, and you look for a way to evade it. Whatever they say irritates you, and you feel the need to oppose whenever it’s appropriate (and sometimes when it’s not). Relationships are built and maintained on positive attitudes towards one another. If the “relation” part is gone, then the only sensible option is to “ship” yourself away, as far as possible. A firm specializing in family law in Sydney can make your life easier when divorce is on the table, especially if you live in the area.
You feel unhappy
Once, the relationship was a source of energy for both of you. You were happy with coming home or meeting outside. But now, you feel as if the life is drained out of you. Your friends comment that you have changed – and not for the better. Spending time together does not evoke the same feeling as before, but quite the opposite, it makes you unhappy or even sad. Even worse, you feel the same way when you are alone. If the feeling is persistent, it may be time to think about going your own way.
Thinking about others
Fantasies about other partners – in everyday life as in sex – are a normal part of any relationship. However, if your partner is no longer a part of your thoughts or simple daydreaming, at least to some extent, that’s another red flag. The fact that we imagine ourselves with others, especially if that new partner is included in some important plans, may be the sign that we may feel it is time to move on and start over.
The most important sign is to see if there is any love left, not just for the relationship, but for the spouse as well. If you feel like there is not a single “quantum of solace” left – consideration of one human for another – then the relationship is truly over. Look for the best possible professional advice concerning how to end your marriage and prepare yourself for the next chapter in your life.